Let’s be honest—there’s something about a wet fart in a quiet store aisle that just breaks people’s souls. So, I headed to Walmart, armed with The Pooter, my best poker face, and a bag full of chaos.
The plan? Simple. Wait for total silence, sneak up beside unsuspecting shoppers, and unleash the sloppiest, most disgusting-sounding farts known to mankind. 💦💨
First victim: a guy browsing oatmeal. I bent down like I was reaching for something and dropped the WETTEST one. He physically recoiled like I sprayed him with acid and whispered, “Dude… are you serious?”
I just nodded… and walked away with my dignity (and fake shame) intact.
Next up: two women looking at shampoo. I stood next to them, let one rip that sounded like soup hitting tile, and one of them GAGGED while the other burst into uncontrollable laughter. “Girl, we need to leave,” she said—and they did.
Then came the grand finale: near the bakery, with a crowd. I let loose a double-barrel splatter fart, looked horrified, and said, “Excuse me… I thought that was a sneeze.”
People SCATTERED. One guy dropped his cinnamon roll and left the aisle. Mission accomplished.
