It started with a fart… but not just any fart. We’re talking wet, squelchy, and totally outrageous—the kind that makes people stop what they’re doing and rethink life choices.
Armed with The Pooter and the most offensive sound in the library, I took to the aisles of Walmart, ready to cause confusion, chaos, and some truly unforgettable reactions.
The strategy? Get close, act normal, and then—PFFFFTT-SPLATTT.
💦💨
People jumped. Some stared in horror. One guy literally walked away mid-checkout like, “Nope, I’m done here.”
In the cereal aisle, I dropped a juicy one right next to a woman comparing Frosted Flakes. She gasped, clutched her cart, and turned to see me looking equally disgusted. “Was that you?!” she asked. I just shrugged and slowly walked away.
Another favorite: next to a guy choosing frozen pizza. I let one rip so loud and wet, he stepped back and said, “Bro, you good?!” I said nothing and just kept browsing like I didn’t just commit olfactory assault.
The real MVPs? The people who couldn’t stop laughing. One woman literally wheezed out, “You did NOT just do that in front of the Rotisserie chickens.”
By the end, I had half the store looking over their shoulders. And the best part? It was all caught on camera.
