It started like any normal Walmart trip: quiet aisles, bargain bins, and people just minding their business. That is… until I showed up with The Pooter.
Armed with my trusty fart sound device and a stone-cold poker face, I walked casually through the aisles, searching for the perfect moment—and I found it in the cleaning supplies section.
An innocent lady was reaching for a bottle of window cleaner. I crept up beside her, pretended to stretch, and let out a long, slow, squishy-sounding fart that echoed through the aisle.
She jumped. Full-body flinch. Her face twisted like she just stepped into a chemical spill. Then she looked at me—and I looked just as shocked as her, like I couldn’t believe what had “just happened.”
The best part? She started laughing before I did. “You boys need help,” she said, walking away with a mix of horror and amusement.
From there, it only got better. I dropped a rapid-fire double fart near the electronics counter. A guy browsing headphones legit took a step back and said, “Bro, you good??” In the frozen section, I bent down for some peas and blasted a PFFFFT so loud the guy next to me abandoned his cart.
Every reaction was pure gold. Confusion. Disgust. Laughter. Concern.
All caused by one tiny device and the power of public gas.
